Life before Polish bras

When I was a little girl I would look through the pages of lingerie catalogues and couldn’t wait for the day that I would have beautiful, sexy bras of my own.  As I grew into womanhood and my breasts didn’t grow along with me, I was so disappointed that I couldn’t wear the bras or lingerie that I dreamed of and was stuck wearing thick padded bras that gave the illusion that I had something that resembled boobs!  Even after I had my first breast augmentation at 19, I was still unsatisfied with the size and continued to wear those padded “add a cup…or two” bras (you know which ones I’m talking about).  Though they were pretty and got the job done, they were quite expensive for what you got: a bra that looked like everyone else’s, which was made by the truck load in some factory somewhere.

Fast forward 15 years from that first boob job and I was ready to replace my old implants and get an upgrade!  Since implants aren’t cheap, and who knows when I might have the money to do this a third time, I decided to go BIG!  Not so big that I felt lewd or ridiculous, but big enough that I would be satisfied with the results this time and never have to wear a padded bra again, so I doubled the size that I previously had.

From the moment I awoke from surgery and saw my new glorious boobs, I couldn’t wait to go bra shopping!  Thoughts of grandeur raced through my mind as I fantasized about all the gorgeous new bras that would soon be mine (insert evil laugh here).  Waiting for the go-ahead from my surgeon to go bra shopping was an agonizing 10 days…which I now know is a very short period of time compared to how long some other ladies need to wait.   Every day I would take my measurements trying to calculate my new bra size and then go online and “window shop” for which bra I was going to purchase first…but boy was I in for a surprise!

The first surprise I got was when I realized that for the past 15 years I had been wearing the wrong sized bra!  Like thousands of other women, I had gone into a very popular lingerie shop (that shall stay unnamed) and had been measured by their ‘bra experts’ who had informed me time and time again that I was a 34D (pre-second BA).  Had I known then what I know now I would have realized that when you have an underbust that measures at 26”, there is no way that your band size could be 34!  But hey, when an ‘expert’ tells you something and you don’t know any better, you don’t argue.  So for years I wore ill-fitting bras with loose bands, and would constantly have to tighten my straps to keep everything (somewhat) in place…losing bra after expensive bra to straps that would give way from having to support my boobs on their own.  Knowing now what I didn’t know then, I really should have been wearing somewhere around a 28DDD/30DD bra.

My second surprise came when I plugged my measurements into a Bra Size Calculator (I used the one from A Sophisticated Pair’s website which I find to be one of the most accurate).  When the size recommendation that came up was 28F or 30E I nearly fell over onto my face!  For some reason that seemed SO huge (I’m not sure why, since the sister size to a 34D is a 30DDD), but I was over the moon!  I finally had BIG boobs!!!  From then on I continued to take measurements and plug them into the calculator and as my breasts started to drop and fluff, the letters continued to rise!  If anyone told me before this BA that I would end up as a 28GG/30G (UK) I would have never believed them in a million years!  But then reality sunk in…where on earth was I going to find a bra to house these things???  Naively, I went back to that same (unnamed) bra store and thought that maybe I could find something that would fit.  The first thing I found out was that they didn’t carry a 30, far less 28 band (or at least not in stores), so I went for the smallest band they carried, a 32.  Then I also realized that they max out at a DDD cup, so I tried on the closest thing to my new bra size…32DDD.  What a joke!  My boobs looked like a hot mess, popping out all over the place and with a band that was way too loose.  I was crushed.  I spent all this money for these big fabulous cans and now I couldn’t find a bra that fit me!

Quickly realizing that I needed to look elsewhere if I wanted to find a bra that was actually wearable, I started doing some research.  The first place I went was a popular BA forum that I had joined right before I had gotten my second BA.  Many of the ladies talked about UK bra brands, since they carry bras in smaller bands and larger cups.  That’s all I needed to hear!  I quickly went online and ordered several bras in the size recommended from the bra calculator and then waited excitedly for a few days for the first one to arrive.  The day I got the package I rushed into my room and locked the door (having two children, you learn that if you want privacy locking the door is a must☺).  I tore it open and stared widely at (what looked like) the biggest bra I had ever seen!  I could literally fit my head in one of the cups!  I was immediately disappointed, thinking the calculation must have been wrong and that this thing would NEVER fit me.  I wasn’t even excited anymore as I put it on, already knowing it was too big and calculating how much money I had wasted already ordering several other bras of the same size.  As I fastened the last hook, flipped the bra around, put my arms through the straps and pulled it over my chest I stared in amazement as my boobs completely filled the cups!  HOLY COW!  If you could have seen me doing my happy boobie dance around my room…well it was pretty ridiculous☺.  Unfortunately that happiness quickly faded the next day when I attempted to wear my new bra to work.  The wires were way too wide and rubbed the skin under my armpits till they felt raw and the gore dug into my chest leaving deep red marks that took hours to go away.  Again, I was deflated.  I waited for my other bras to arrive, hoping that they might fit differently.  The gore on some was better, but the wide wires seemed to be a common theme with all of them.  I got a little depressed and I started thinking that I was just going to have to suck it up.  I wanted these big boobs and now I would just have to suffer the consequences, like it was some cruel joke being played on me for being so vain.  A life of being uncomfortable every time I had to wear a bra!

 

If you like what you’ve read so far, please stay tuned for Part 2 of this post, Why Every Woman Should Own a Polish Bra!

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